I feel like dyin'.

I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this. i wrote it out was going to post it on blog, but got to scared and it got too deep to post. i have been triggered since last night. had a night mare around 413 woke up and took a 2 hours shower. then got up and listened to music. im so effed up. i hate having the feeling like im there stuck in my little world seeing everything like a 90s kid. ugh. i am so so so so so so confused. dont know what to do. contemplating crying after i found out i amonia is in my left lung now. ugh. everything else is pretty much shitty. scared. i hate coughing. i am so negative right now. im going to start tweeting. that will help me. satying in the moment by annoying people by tweeting. :) joy. toodles.