Another Nite....

now its night time one again. never goes away........ever. i feel the teres burn down my checks. just as rawe as 6 years ago. can't beleve it was only that short ago that was that it happened last. i feel like yesterday. Waking up screeming isn't one of my hobies but it has totally been unfortantely over the last 4 days. its at night that i feel low. it takes all i have to not take that whole bottle and hope i never wake up again. its hard. and getting harder. why is this so hard? i see others who can and are going fine. they are happy and carfree. im really jealous. why is everytime i see something sharp i start to tere? bc i know that would solve the pain. it will at least make it come out. and sruface and not stay inside. bc i cant control how much comes out. it just comes. everytime i see my meds.......i think i could just take the bottle nad never wake up again? be gone permently and never have to worry about causing other people pain? never bothering them so they have to get tapped or stalked or prank called? it would solve everything. well, here to another night, another nightmare. another screem. another tere. goodnight. ThErApYtEeN.