...-...-...-...

i had a lovely present lefted on my doorstep tonight....it was so nice of the person to leave it there. oh so thoughtful!! and oh so thoughtful of the phone calls. its so nice to talk to a stranger. and try to seem saine when i say i didn't call them. and to not explain to much. im trying to figure out who these people are that i get connect to but none of them say there name?? could it be family members? like my uncle craig? idk. im getting frustrated. another thing i have to deal with. ive got a plan. but i dont want to do it. but i do. i want to never have to deal with any of this ever again. its too much. im safe. im doing fine. not good at all. but not dead yet?? im trying to stay on the hope i have left. i skyped with jax..... that didn't help. nothing helping. i jsut dont belong here anymore. good night world. maybe tomorrow will be better..............i can still hope right? i got a little left. not much. but just enough to make it til tomorrow.