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I'm done making this blog about my father and making it a swtichboard of my anger. This blog was not created for that. { *Thanks BonSpa:)* } So today in class my teacher asked a queston. "Are you okay?" Of course I answered yes. Nowing full hearted that wasn't true. In the hours that have passed sense my 11 am class......I've realised that it doesn't have to be true. I am okay. I will be okay. I don't have to be okay every second of everyday but I do have to live my life. Which i haven't. I've spent almost every waking minute trapped in my own hell that im taking part in. In feeding into my fathers game and stupedness, im hurting myself and those i love and care about. I contrubiting to the pain. Im going to work with BonSpa:) to put my flashs and movies away. BC i am in college and i only get it once. I need to enjoy it. Not spend everyday worrying and scared. This is my life. Not his. He has his own life. I am going to talk to my A&U tomorrow at dinner. We are going to invite our lawyer over to. This is going to be settled. Its exhasting for everyone involved. Last nite I made a big mistake something I regret a lot. Im not going to be specfic b/c im embaressed. BUT I'm not going to let myself go down that road every again. I have more self control than that and by doing that im letting my demons win. No one has control but me. I got the rains now. I hope everyone enjoys their day, and thanks for the phone calls this weekend and the support this weekend guys. Much Apprecated! :) ThErApYtEeN.**********************************************************
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