"you need to understand the effect quiting therapy has on everybody and not just you............so until then you are grounded and ill give you a hint, your grounded until you start seeing ****** again".
i am really frustrating urgh. urgh. urgh. i dont know what to do.....my hands are tied. i feel responsle for causing BonSpa:) all of her stress and all of her problems and i know her problems are because of me. because im her cliant and im seeing her in therapy. urgh. if i stop seeing her until court then itll stop i hope. i feel bad. bc in real life its not fair to here. its a chan reaction. her husband misses work to sit outside+anxos about walking me to my car+law stuff+following+security +emails +phone calls+texts+computer stuff. nothings safe urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i feel so bad. i want to help her bc i keep causing problems for her. urgh and i want to take care of the roots but i cant. i wanted to talk to BonSpa:) on tuesday and say it. just get it out no matter how uncomforatble it gets. no matter how scared, sad, angry, whatever i get. just get it out but i cant now. urgh. urgh. urgh. and im grounded and thats the worst part. i HATE being grounded. urgh. urgh. and its until i start seeing her again. my last session is on tuesday. and she hasn't returned my email or my text i sent her. i understand its the weekend. i stopped all my meds by myself. i was tired of them. so i fell my anxity building. urgh. urgh. blah. i don't know what to do. and since she hasn't responded to my texts i feel even more guilty. bc i don't know ifs shes mad at me or what? I talked to NINA and it helped (THANKS NINA!!!!!) i miss you..............and well thats all for tonight...imma go skype Jax.... i miss her desperately. goodnght. ThErApYtEeN...and if you have any suggestons regarding my predickament. LET ME KNOW> Heart 241.
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